Same ole, same ole

I went to the hossie for a routine appointment day but for a change I went by bus .... it took 40 mins and I spent the whole time just thinking about things ingeneral and what I really enjoy in life. Yesterday I spent a bit of my day moaning to my freind Kelly in the States that Im fed up with my life and how each day is like Groundhoog Day and it got me thinking .... I absolutely love makeup and things and how we can improve ourselves even without much money .... that is of course if thats what we want to do. I dont ever want to go back in time, although I would like to get rid of this heart condition I have to say, but I am sure something else would have happened instead. I have a great family (2 sons and a mother of 81), wonderful hubby, even if he does have a bit of the OCD hehe, and 2 gorgeous dogs (thought Dexter had a lovely wee and poo indooors yesterday grr), I also have some brilliant friends who have helped me through such a lot. My heart condition did though do one thing it enabled me to sort out my real friends, made me stand up for myself, made me change direction in life but unfortunately it left me a bit frustrated as I cant always do exactly what I need to do each day. I used to love to shop til I dropped but now I dont enjoy it at all. Anway I have digressed a bit there, oh and I also do volunteering which certainly helps me get my priorities right and if Im feeling down boy do I then realise how hard some other peeps have it in life. I have always been a bit of a "project person" always needed something to concentrate on and focus and thats what I seem to be lacking this sort of oomph. I set up my own business and its going ok, need to do a bit of marketing so I suppose thats a project I need to do ... but I think my trouble is I have time on my hands and I have always been used to working to deadlines so I tend to let everything slip then suddenly have a rush at it, which is just plain stupid for gods sake cos I have all day and I could be doing something so much more. So ........ I need to write a list of all the things I need to be doing .... not should .... just need. I write lists for everything else, phone this company, phone that company, send this, send that but I need more. I am just fed up every morning doing the same ole same ole, making beds, hoovering, brushing dogs, feeding dogs, ironing, cooking, cleaning blah blah blah. I mean ffs I took a bus this morning for something different to do ..... am I going insane lol. I should be channelling my energies into something more inspiring. Im supposed to be doing a case history for a disability mag but have I .... no ..... what in the hell is the matter with me I need one almighty big kick up the a**. Someone somewhere just kick it for me.