Final decisions lol

I went into Monsoon today to look at the dress .. it was not nice ..... lots of other lovely dresses there though but I sort of have made a decision.  Im going to stick with what I like even though it may not be appropriate for the weddings.  A few things have happened in last few days, I havent felt great, consequently I worry about my heart that it has got worse (I feel loads better now though I still have zillions of palpitations), my friend in USA who has the same heart condition, well her son is in hossie really poorly and on a ventilator and my friend isnt feeling at her best, another friend in the UK has now been in hossie for 10 weeks with what started off with gallstones, she unfortunately has had  an Ileostomy and at 34 she is not happy with that which is understandable, so I thought what the heck does it really matter about anything, our health is the most important to us all.  That doesnt mean Im stopping looking at things cos Im not and I want to look my best, but I think Im going to keep the costs down as much as possible because what I really want to do is visit K. in Boston and monies I would have spent can be put into my air travel fund.  So its all going to be about accessories and inexpensive dresses I think, and I have whittled the dresses down to 3.  I already have the black linen one and I have seen it in Flax, Im also going to try on the kingfisher blue dress  tomorrow.  I have a Next online voucher to use so I may buy a cardi from there or a pair of shoes if I can find them to fit.  At least now I wont be boring anyone with it all much more ...... yay I hear you say, and to be honest Im getting fed up with it too.  I used to love shopping so much and could shop til I dropped, now I just drop hehehehehehe plus I just dont have the money any more!!