Hospital appointment yesterday

Boo hoo what can I say, the appointment didnt go as well as I had hoped. I didnt think it was going to be brilliant news, I think we all know the way our bodies work better than any doctor, but I was a bit suprised at a couple of bits of information.  At the moment I am waiting for the Cardiologist to call me again, she did try already today but I wasnt able to answer my phone, so at the moment Im sat here thinking hmm whats she gonna say.  I did try to ring back but there is a fault on the line at the moment and engineers are working on it, its always the way when you are desperate to find out stuff lol.  Anyway basically my heart function has dropped a little, hence why I am more tired and I now have a definite persistant arrythmia (cant spell it and cant be bothered to google it at the moment hehe).  Although I had an ecg and echo before I went to see the Cardio she actually wanted to have another ecg done while I was with her and kept it running. Well not sure what the next step is at the moment, she needed to have a talk with the main man who is an expert in the field of Cardiomyopathy, it will either be yet another drug and/or ICD implant.  The drug she mentioned I really do not want but I have no choice and I know that but it has unpleasant side effects, one of them being it reacts to sunlight and the sun is something I loveand as soon as it is shining Im there outside.  It also reacts with other drugs I take so it means a lot of tweaking of medications and feeling rubbish for a while, which is at least 6 weeks and sometimes months, so from that point of view I am not happy.  But like anything its long term that has to be thought about and I knew that this day would come when we would take a few steps back so hopefully with a change in meds and stuff Ill go forward again.  I spoke to another lady at the clinic who had the same condition as me  http://www.cardiomyopathy.org/index.php?id=48 (if anyone decides to read it my main man cardio is in the pic at the bottom of that page, mind you you will need a magnifying glass to see him, and my condition is Dilated Cardiomyopathy with a few added extras hehehe, and if you really want to know more double click on the pic but please be warned pics are a bit graphic though you can hear Perry Elliots dulcet tones) and she had been through a similar period and actually felt better now than she had ever felt so this is what I will tell myself.  I was a bit weepy inside although I was a good girl I didnt cry hehehe, cos its one thing thinking you are not doing as great as you could be but then being told it is quite different.  So yesterday I made some decisions and its ones I tell other people at volunteering and stuff but Im not good at doing it myself ...... main one being I have to slow down.  Also today I am definitely going to lose some weight, Im not exactly overweight as such but it would help if I could lose what I have put on over the last few years so is back to healthy eating with just a few indulgences now and then.  Coffee consumption has to be reduced cos obviously thats not good, but again its one of my loves but  Im gonna be down to one now, I was pretty good and only had two anyway.  Im lucky I dont like tea much so it will be caffeine free herbals if I do want one. Im lucky I do eat pretty healthily anyway I just do go off track now and then lol like last night when me, hubby, son number 2, and mum treated ourselves to a takeaway chinese!!  Slowing down is going to be the hardest, I do much more I know than I should do with a heart like mine, but just cos there is something wrong with people we dont just give up and sit and be moronic.  I also have a business I am a makeupartist by trade and at the moment I am getting so many enquiries on my website I think I will just have to say no for a short while, I never ever did it full time and have had no intentions of doing so but this year I have had photographers wanting to collaborate and people with weddings etc etc so I think I will re-evaluate it, the trouble with doing makeup is that its standing all the time and having to have it done on a certain day for a special occasion, unless of course its a makeup lesson, and I always have worried that I wont feel well on someones wedding day.  I debated even starting up the business but I thought what the heck go for it, its been a slow start but now it seems to be taking off and my body has decided to slow down hehehehehehehehehehe. Oh well I have rambled a bit today, its nice in a way to be able to write down what I feel, this blog is more like a diary to me and also full of little snippets I like to look at. I will add a bit more to this post later when I hear back from the hossie but meanwhile I would like to thank you for your good wishes that have been sent to me, I much appreciate them.

I did forget to add though I did a bit of retail therapy this morning and bought a handbag that I wanted I just thought what the heck so this afternoon my other bag I use all the time and that is so tatty can now go to its final resting place ....... the bin !!!
Hmm I have an update and its definitely not what I wanted or expected to hear, the doc phoned me and said they want to admit to to hossie and they will be in touch with a date, I am going to have another angiogramme and an MRI and find out why my heart has changed its behaviour then they will decide on a plan of action,  I am numb and I will probably have a bit of a cry soon definitely not what I expected to hear so no wonder they rang me today. Boo hoo boo hoo thats all I can say. I really could do with a stiff drink right now lol.