I really have not felt likeblogging at all recently so thats why I have been just adding little pics and sayings. I thought about giving it all up and I may do yet or even starting another blog but slightly different to this one. I have felt like I didnt have a clue which direction to go in with anything, all I knew was I have not been feeling quite right and have felt really stressed with the may things that have been going on around me. I did however know it would eventually begin to fade and it has I feel a lot better than I did. All my appointments and tests are over with til September so Im not constantly stressing about those, I have begun to eat better again rather than just eating for the sake of eating and feeling crap after. Basically I have stopped beating myself up about wanting to lose weight its more about being healthy in body mind and soul. I also have taken to resting in the afternoon, not sleeping just resting for a while and I have found that makes me feel much better, its like my own version of meditating lol. I have also decided to become more assertive, I feel that I have been much to available to some friends and some family and have finally had to stop and put my foot down. I think and I am glad that everyone thinks that I am 100% well and of course I like to kid myself that I am, but the bottom line is Im not and I have to learn to accept that however frustrating it may be. I recently told my local Cardiology Consultant that I would be happy to talk to local health professionals and also newly diagnosed people with Dilated Cardiomyopathy because its very scarey when you are first given the news and you immediately think you have been given a death sentence. Yes your life will probably be shortened, yes you will have to take medications for the rest of your life and yes you may need to have a heart transplant at some time but equally you may get knocked over by a bus! I have now decided to offer my services to the Campaign for better Care as our government has decided to overhaul the NHS system and really there is hardly anything where I live for cardiopmyopathy sufferers. I knew there would be something that I was actually interested in being involved in, especially as the funding for the volunteering I do with disabled peeps will deffo come to an end in september and it will be no more, so now I have another purpose yay. Anyway other things that have made me feel happier is that I have finally sorted out my wardrobe and have thrown or given or ebayed my bits and pieces and I now have clothes that actually go together and I am still refusing to buy anything I like but I dont need. I have also restarted making cards and also some jewellry and I am going to start selling some too I hope, mind you I still need to do a bit more ass kicking to myself with regard to that hahahaha. Son number 2 also gave me some Lush http://www.lush.co.uk/ smellies and they are gorgeous and make me feel so happy with the aroma around the house and my body when I have used them ...... see little things do make me happy, so talking about Lush I am off to have a nice relaxing bath surrounded by beautiful smells and candles .......yay
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