Weird stuff and wanted stuff

Well hello there its Friday 13th lol.  I havent posted for a few days cos I just havent felt like it simple as that.  Im feeling weird .... well more weird than normal haha.  Everything has been going so well, all healing nicely, getting used to not lifting my arm .. only another few weeks to go yay. I miss not being able to drive my car the most because of what I had done its an automatic ban for one month from date of implant.  If the machine fires, which I hope it never does I thinkits a ban of 6 months unless it fired inapropriately!  I can wash my hair one handed and put on my makeup though am still not wearing eyeshadow or anything and to be honest I think it may well stay that way.  I called in to volunteering yesterday just for an hour to say hello to everyone and they all seemed to say I looked well and less tired!!!  Personally I think its cos I dont do my smokey eyes any more, cos I feel exactly the same.  In fact in some aspects I feel worse!  My friend in the USA who has already had the procedure said to me that mentally I would feel a bit screwed for a while and I thought wtf, she is talking  a load of rubbish, sorry K if you read this no offense meant!  But she was right.  I did too much the other day, cos I felt so good, and lo and behold I felt awful, then the cycle started because I felt awful I panicked.  I ended up getting into bed with a pillow over my head as the panic wouldnt subside and it was the only thing I felt I could do.  Since then every twinge I get panic takes over I cant stop it and I hate it.  Hopefully it wont last too long.  Its just so weird!  I just want to sit and stare into space but the trouble is then I have time to think and I focus too much on things which I shouldnt be focusing on and its just like a vicious circle.  I am trying to get off lol. Maybe its agood job I have that certain "appointment" this afternoon hehehe. 

Other than that nothing has happened, Im on a health kick, house is clean and tidy, dogs are happy and hubbys foot is doing nicely and I actually look ok I think.  Im still wearing the bright red lipstick and my hair has got a little longer so I think Im gonna try and grow it yet again in an asymetrical hairstyle.  Ive been trying to think happy thoughts and work out a wish list of what I would like.  Simple stuff like a new makeup bag, a purse, cos I am sick of all my change falling out of my other one, and a new bag to keep it all in.  Ive worked out some autumn/winter outfits and I will be back to wearing a uniform.  Today is the first day I have got out of my cosy combats and into my jeans, though hubby had to sort of pull them on me hahahahaha.  Im in a getaway mood from black and prefer grey at the moment, I have seen a few bits I would like and I will stick to that.  I dont need a winter coat but I would like a tweed jacket,to wear with jeans, I found one before but they didnt have it in stock so I will look again.  Needless to say I wonder where the money will come from for it all!  But I dont need much I have most things I like.

My wish list in no particular order:

The pink top above would be in grey ... just thought I would add that.