Im moody, Im cold, Im miserable and am sick of the rain. Kitchen is so muddy all of the time even though I wipe both the dogs feet when they come in. Today I made an effort to wash the floor thoroughly but now its done it will be back to mud once the dogs need to go outside again! Oh I wish I lived in warmer climes! Spain I want to come back there. I did go out to have my hair cut today and it is yet again very short perhaps about 1" all over and I am wearing the brightest lipstick ever hahahaha ...... see I do try to cheer myself up and I dont think today people would miss me coming hahahahahaha. Its weird how we all think of ourselves, well some of us do. I am quite shy and dont like too much attention and I have felt recently I sort of blend into the background too much which I dont mind of course but I would like to go back to how I used to be not younger just with more confidence. My hairdresser said to me today no way do you ever blend but thats not how I see myself I see myself as quite difference and I feel that my confidence in myself has just gone. Where its gone I do not know but I hell want to find out lololol. Anyway some friends and I were talking about this and one friend says shes not attractive and she gets very nervous yet she is beautiful, maybe not in the conventional way, but she is really gorgeous with the most amazing stance and eyes and she is very tall and believe me you notice her for all the right reasons, yet she doesnt think she is and most of the time hides herself away. What is the matter with us?? Why do we have these opinions of ourselves. I recently watched To Marry Snog or Avoid, what a yucky TV programme I know, but omg the girls on there think they are gorgeous and they are just absolutely awful, same with a programme called Hotter than my Daughter, the woman look like well Im not sure, just vile. What do they see that we dont and why do we see what we see about ourselves ? I just havent worked it out yet please someone tell me hahahahaha.
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